My New year resolutions

Vicky

Another new year is approaching and I know that we’ll soon get busy scheduling parties and waiting to see if anybody throws one in these last two months. Every time a new year starts I will become a bit nervous and I have no idea why. I guess it’s because of the resolutions I have to make or is because of the terrific parties I have to attend or coming with one more excuse from my parents for marriage, whatever…this new year seems to be more terrifying because I have decided to stay back in Chennai and also there is a long list of new year resolutions this year…here is the list.

1. Quit smoking (I mean cigarettes, it’s been on the list for the last ten years)
2. Quit watching gay porn movies (the hardest one though, but I have to make it because I have lost few pounds of weight)
3. Avoid dating guys in the office (well it’s hard to resist all those hot guys around with seductive smiles)
4. Find a nice wardrobe (I should be given some credit for being a Bangalore boy at least)
5. Quit having sex with my roommate (he is a straight and got a new girlfriend)
6. No more junk food (one of the ways of losing weight, I guess I can drop porn movies from the list if I follow this resolution)
7. Start partying more (well, this is the easiest one)
8. Focus seriously on moving to Canada (it’s my dream)
9. Remove Arjun from the list of future long terms (of all bad times, it’s still only for Arjun)
10. Savings (not shavings, well I should seriously listen to my mom)
11. More tours and travels this year (last year none)
12. Few more certifications for professional benefits (I’ve almost stopped studying these days)
13. A website and book launch which are gay friendly (I guess I should seriously focus on it with a commercial touch, need help though)
14. Hit gym regularly (ah…to make it interesting I should find a gay-friendly gym)
15. Buy a car of my own (well, that is one which I have been dreaming for last few years)

The list goes this way and still there are few remaining, now you guys would have known why I am nervous about this new year. It makes me more nervous when I realize some of the non-achievements of 2009. My mom forced me to have this habit of making new year resolutions since I was a kid and she also made me write it in my diaries. She gives me a new diary every year. I went back home this x-mass to Bangalore and at home I was checking my diaries of the past. In my closet I found few funny resolutions of the previous new years.

1. Quit being gay (this is the funniest resolution ever, it was in the list on 2000 and 2001)
2. Quit smoking (seems like it never quits from the list)
3. Quit one night stands (this has been one of the causes of I having group sex on new year eve every year, thinking that I will stop having sex with men from next day)
4. Change my name (well I found this resolution in my 1998 diary)
5. Don’t mislead Preeti (she was my classmate in PUC and I was flirting with her for sometime, she had fallen in love with me and it took 3 years for me tell her I am gay)
6. Don’t vomit at parties (this was in the list of 2001)
7. Don’t let someone drink your cum, its unhygienic for them (yuck, surprising even this was in the list of 2003)
8. Stop sneaking at boys restroom (I was caught in the college when I was watching my volleyball captain taking bath…god, he was hot)
9. Don’t hit anyone on the face especially the nose (I almost got suspended when I hit and broke one of my volleyball teammate’s nose in the playground)
10. Inform daddy why you took 100 rupees from his wallet (this was in the list of 1998, I was 13 years old then)
11. Don’t let anyone think that you are younger than my elder sister (I wrote this when I was 11 years old)

These are the few funniest…Now you guys know why I am nervous about new years!