Vicky
If you’re a netizen, you must be aware of the way in which chat sessions go! It inevitably starts off with ASL and then goes on to ask you your “stats”. Sometimes they ask you – “Since when are you in this line?” – as if being gay is some sort of a profession for which you get paid! It’s insanely hilarious. This particular question is enough to promptly include them in my ‘Ignore’ list! Statistics! You may interpret stats in a number of ways. It becomes utterly tedious for me to keep typing the same stats especially when I am chatting with multiple people at the same time. I often type the stats in a notepad file and invoking my software engineering skills, use the CTRL+C, CTRL+V tabs to the hilt! Anyway, lately I have begun to wonder how to know that the stats the chat mate proclaims are true. I mean, a 24 year old guy could turn out to be a 64 year old one, a 28 inch waist could turn out to be 10 inches more, a large endowment could turn out to be nothing more than a peanut and so on! But never mind, it’s one’s own prerogative to believe in all these tall claims or not! There’s probably no way by which you can be absolutely sure of the guy’s stats or his intentions. Unless, of course the guy is generous enough to show you his cam! But then, that rarely happens!
For me, I have decided to devise a new set of statistics! I am sure no one has done so much research to arrive at these figures that I am about to disclose! I have always wondered as to how many people I may have met in the last decade. The answer has always been elusive. Human memory fails at times! And with me the problem of amnesia is so acute that I don’t even remember who I met a month ago or how many I have met or slept with over the years! I seriously never make that effort because hardly anyone bothers to keep in touch after that one night stand. There are only a handful of people who have stayed in touch (through mails, text messages, social networking sites and chats). But still, if I stretch my imagination and memory to its limits, knowing the fact that I first started to meet people when I was in my 11th grade, I must have met over 200 people over the last decade. Whoa! 200 and counting! People of all shapes and sizes! Tall, short, hairy, smooth, cutest of the cute, delicious hunks, boy-next-door types, self-proclaimed jocks/studs, married, guys in open relationships, elderly gentlemen, Gujaratis, Parsees, Muslims, Bengalis, Tamils, Andhraites, Malayalis, Kashmiris, Punjabis, Catholics, Kannadigas, Delhiites, UPiites, an occasional Bihari or Rajasthani and of course our own Maharashtrians! I don’t really remember how many among those 200 I slept with. But then that’s the age when your hormones are too much to control, the number must have been quite a handful.
Anyway, most of these contacts have got lost with time. New contacts have replaced old ones. People who did not care to keep in touch have been promptly deleted. That’s why at any given time, my Yahoo messenger list, my phone book or my Facebook friend list only contains those contacts who I am in touch with! A certain friend of mine has an amazing Yahoo friend list. He probably has around 100 or even more contacts and he has tagged each and every contact with their stats and his own comments! It’s really hilarious to go through his friend list. It goes something like this… hotguybandra – 24 cute, ONS types xxxguy4sex – 26, big bore! m4mcolaba – 22, boy friend material… and so on…
The other day I was going through my phone book on my cell phone! I found that of 127 contacts on my cell, 72 were gay/bi. That’s almost 56.7%. On closer inspection I found the following: I have not met 13 out of those 72 – 18%. I have had foreplay and oral sex with 29. – 40%. I have gone all the way with 14 – 19.5%. I consider 10 to be quite close to me, as in good friends! – 13.9%. I consider 4 of them to be in my inner circle – 5.55%. I wouldn’t mind having sex with at least 12 of the 72 given the right opportunity presents itself (some of them for the first time, the rest all over again) – 16.7%. I consider 7 of them to be good enough for just a one night stand. – 9.72%. 6 of them are BFM – Boy friend material! – 8.33%. I would like to avoid 5 of them! – 6.94%. I have met 42 guys in the last one year; among them 30 in the last six months! Made out with 6 of them! Now comes my Yahoo messenger list! There are 76 people on my Yahoo messenger list including family! Of them 50 are gay/bi. I am in touch with all of them in some way or the other! Next, comes my Facebook friend list! I have 95 friends in my friend list. 52 of them are gay/bi. They share my friend list with my cousins, my school and college mates and colleagues! Most of them are also present in my phone book and Yahoo list! When I was first introduced to Facebook I created a so-called ‘gay’ profile in addition to the regular! But with time, I got so bored of checking both, I decided to do away with the gay one and included the ‘regular’ profiles of my gay pals onto my regular one! And thankfully it has not ruffled any feathers till now!
The point I am trying to put forward is that each one of us has our own set of statistics and if you ever happen to spend some time in looking closely at these figures, you will discover a lot of facts about your past that will not only amaze you but may also determine your future! It may also throw light on what kind of a person you are, what kind of things you look for in a guy, what kind of sex appeals to you, what kind of guys you would want to avoid, who are your closest friends who really care for you and so on! It may also tell you a lot about how others see you as a person! My figures have told me a lot! They tell me that I’ve had enough! They also tell me to slow down and look out for only genuine people in the maddening crowd around. They have told me a great deal about the kind of life that I have led so far! And sorry to say, I am not happy about it at all. They tell me to keep my eyes open for everyone who comes my way. They make me aware of the past mistakes and help me to refrain from committing the same mistakes again! They teach me to be careful in the future and to be grateful to God for whatever he has given me till date! They teach me to be grateful to Him and realizing that life is too precious to be wasted in the pursuit of mindless sex! So, look into your phone book! There are a lot of mysteries to be unraveled. So put on your Holmes’s cap and get going. All the best!
