Do Ask. And Do tell.

A Veteran’s own Story

By Tushar M.

Name: Leif Ivan Ohlson

Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Age: 44
Occupation: Special Advisor, Intelligence Coordination, Ministry of Defense, Sweden
Favourite Saturday night activity: A nice hotel bar with friends
Hobbies: Promoting Sri Lankan handicraft and ethnic goods in Sweden
Out: Yes

I sit in the cozy living room of Leif’s top floor apartment in one of the most coveted areas in Sweden’s capital, Stockholm. It was snowing last night, but this morning it’s sunny. He sits at the table, next to his immense collection of books, with assorted Asian artifacts and posters carefully placed to give the house a more homely look. I’m still slightly sleepy because I’d been out partying all night, but Leif went to bed early last night after learning how to cook Nutri Nuggets Indian style. He’s been a generous host, and I sit with him this Saturday morning, yearning to know more about the intelligence agent who’s all about opening up.

Sweden, alongside the other Scandinavian countries, has been one of the forerunners in rights and equality for LGBT citizens. With the abolishment of the clause referring to being gay being an ‘illness’ in the mid 1970’s and the subsequent establishment of a rule allowing serving in the army as openly gay in 1979, Sweden can easily be said to be one of the earliest countries in the world to do away with discrimination in the army.

“There was a time when you could call in ‘gay’ to work” he chuckles. “That would have been fun to see.”

Leif co-founded HOF (an organization for LGBT people in Swedish Armed Forces) in 2001. Since military service, till off late, was mandatory in Sweden, there were bound to be many conscripts who would fall under the category of LGBT and didn’t have any choice but to join the army. The group incorporated reforms for conscripts, military personnel, civilian families, and supporters. The association with the national church movements and the army environment made it difficult for them to come out, but HOF initiatives helped push the coming out revolution. Captain Krister Fahlstedt, then studying in the Defence College, did a survey about LGBT people in the Swedish Armed forces. He found out that 75-80% of the LGBT people in the army were closeted. Today the figure stands at 20% closeted individuals, clearly showing a success story.

He flips through one of the many books lying around. “The laws were supportive, but there was still this perception of gay people being less masculine. An openly gay person was sometimes not given a more difficult or a more secret operation due to popular misconception that a gay guy would be less loyal and would succumb to pressure. Everyone with a secret is a risk. In an intelligence related environment, security breaches were taken extremely seriously. There have been famous spies in the history of intelligence forces who were gay and stayed closeted due to this very reason.” I ask him for names, and out comes the “That’s classified information” with a wink.

“I came out in 2001. There were no negative reactions, mostly “I always knew”. But for most of the people who join the armed forces and are gay, quitting seems like a better option. There are jokes about gay people, some jeers about lack of masculinity… to be honest it is a very ‘straight’ environment. Most army people, like many others, are afraid that gay people in close proximity would mean that their privacy is at stake. I still don’t understand why heterosexual is not sexual, but homosexual is all about the sex according to them. But these attitudes do get reinforced just because of the amount of proximity between army men. Showers, group tasks, dorms, you name it. A tight-knit group strengthens an army, but with attitudes like these it’s hard to ensure that.

“The funniest thing I’ve heard is that gay people are more interested in f**king co-members than the enemy. But I say who has time to think about sexual orientation when you can be killed any minute! But that’s a more American perspective. Thankfully attitudes in Swedish armed forces are less stereotypical.”

Leif’s work has primarily focused on making the armed forces aware about the truths and breaking stereotypes. It’s also focused on LGBT individuals and targets them saying “It’s better to be out. In an environment where truth between fellow army men is of utmost importance, lying about your sexual orientation will cause people distrusting you later. I mean, if I know you’ve been living a lie for the past 10 years, would I still trust you with everything that you do? Wouldn’t I be thinking “Is this a lie too?”

Leif’s campaign got massive support from political parties, and he attributes this success to them. Political contacts and a good Chief of Defense who said he’d personally get involved if he came across any discrimination led to the widespread nature of this movement. Funding from the EU and projects in tie-up with the National Police and Armed Forces are more contributing factors.

Funding is now being given by HOF and allied projects at universities. There are ongoing educational seminars for staff and talks about how to create a good environment for LGBT people to ensure they don’t hide their true selves. “How can you protect your country when you can’t protect your own fellow protectors?” is Leif’s question to them.

Countless top ranking officers have visited Pride meetings. The Stockholm pride actually has a contingent of out officers from the army, all in uniform. Many Colonels, Captains, Majors in the army are openly out and proud. The Swedish Army actually has cadet balls where cadets come with same sex partners. Even though worldwide figures tag the LGBT demographic as 10% of any population, Leif states that it is actually 3-5% in the Army due to the environment and because it is more “excluding”.

The scene, however, is different on a foreign posting, says Leif. “When army members from Sweden are posted on an international mission, as a Defense Attaché, most countries help in relocation and provide benefits for a wife and children. There is yet to come a time when a same-sex couple can be sent to a foreign posting, not because we don’t send them, but because the receiving country has laws not aligned with our own. I’ve had to go back in the closet when I attended some operations in tieups with armies from other countries just because of their policies about gay people.” It’s interesting to note here that Defense Attachés had to be ‘male and married’ in the Swedish army till 2001, when Leif started off a debate that led to it being changed to ‘male, married or unmarried’, but yet not being enforced properly.

“So why the Sri Lanka obsession?” I asked.

“I’ve been posted in Sri Lanka and have lived there for 5 years. That’s where I met my boyfriend. The Sri Lankan army men always keep on asking about my marital status. But one has to stay in the closet in countries like Sri Lanka.” Leif and his boyfriend have been together for 6 years, and started off ‘Best of Sri Lanka’ in Sweden, which brings Sri Lankan goods and handicraft to the Swedish market.”

“And where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years?”

“In 5 years, maybe quit the Army and continue with my business – Best of Sri Lanka. In ten years, hopefully to have established a base in France or Italy and of course Sri Lanka.”

“And how’s life in Sweden? Must be easy?”

“Actually not. I’ve been getting threats from neo-Nazis time and again. Nothing on the physical level though. But it’s still unpleasant. Being a prominent activist has its disadvantages.

“But I still maintain the fact that I’m very happy the way I am. I don’t wake up and say ‘God! How will you harass me today?’ or anything. I’m just happy with my life.”

He’s making a funny face now, as if bemused. I ask him two last questions:

“What do you think is the best thing about being gay?”

“Well I have friends ranging from 16-90 years old across the globe. My straight friends generally have a plus minus 5 years range. There’s more diversity!”

“And the worst?”

“When I came out my friend asked me ‘So, how does it feel to be a minority now?’. I never actually realized till that time that I’ve become a minority. I was a regular middle class Caucasian boy with a good education, and suddenly one day I’m a minority. It is excluding from time to time. Like sometimes your friends think you’d rather go partying than to a good concert or event.”

A feeling that I bet most of our readers will echo.

I’ve got to wind up because I have a train to catch in an hour. He clears the table, asks me if I’d like some more chai. I go to the kitchen to find me a cup and stumble across this cabinet full of Indian spices.

“I love South Asian food! You should try some mango chutney. It’s my favourite.”

I take the bottle out of the fridge and spread some evenly on mini pancakes he’d made earlier.

I sit and eat the mango chutney pancake. East and West. Like everything in his house. The décor, the food, the boyfriend and him.

Hope such reforms come to India soon.