Living Outside the Closet

Harish Iyer

How often do we go against the easy to do things that are complicated. …To do things that are against the norm! These students of the iconic Wilson College at Chowpatty, Mumbai just did that. This bunch of energetic students identify themselves as non-queer, but have friends who are gay and lesbian. (Well, this is not the I-have-a-cute-”gay friend”, which sounds like I have a new cute ‘cocker spaniel’ kinds.) They feel strongly for the cause, for they know how it feels when someone is battling with their sexual identity. I should say that it takes great level of empathy to not just understand but also act upon a ’cause’ that you are not innately connected to.

Mohan Kannan from Band - Agnee

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You know, with years of gay rights advocacy, when it comes to actual activism, I have known that many of us love to talk and not act, not to belittle the work that many of us do, but still a majority are more of Bol Bachchan. More like ‘all fart and no shit’. (Ewww! Sounds crappy… Isn’t it?). While deciding to organise events, we often get stuck with questions like ‘is this venue queer friendly?’, and if we do get the venue we often (if not always) start our internal behenji syndrome (bhala uski saadi meri saadi se safed kaise?) With something like “O My god! That bitch in the organising committee is such a queen, he will run away with all the limelight” and well, these students who don’t actually belong to the ‘community’ actually feel more of the sense of belonging with the LGBT people. And they don’t just say so, they have proved it so.

This sexy student bunch organised a PFLAG event at IES Management College, Bandra, Bombay (a venue yet unexplored by the pink junta). PFLAG stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. They ran about for sponsorship, got their monies in place, tapped people to join as speakers, booked a hall, made a banner, a facebook invite, learnt the right lingo to use and finally had a great event was organised. I was one of the four speakers at the event, the others included – parent petitioner in support of reading down of section 377, film maker Chitra Palekar, Kashish queer film festival organiser, Sridhar Rangayan and founder member of Kranti- an NGO – Robin Chaurasia. The event was attended by students and parents. All the panellists shared their coming out stories.

Sridhar told us how his mom asked him about this event he was attending, even before he could tell her, as she had read it in the papers (yes! the mainstream media coved it and covered it really well). Chitra Palekar highlighted the fact that we need to understand that it is a ‘coming out’ for parents too. Robin Chaurasia spoke about how homosexuality was unacceptable in the US military system and how she came out while she was serving there. I spoke about my usual rona-dhona about child sexual abuse, homophobia and finally my coming out of the closet as a gay man. The students played a coming out video edited from Project Bolo, and also, since drama is my dharma, and narcissism is in my khoon – I asked them jokingly to play ‘meet harry’ the trailer of ‘Amen’ where Karan Mehra plays me. But they took it seriously and played it. My bad luck that the video didn’t show [Sad- puppy face]. The highlight was a monoact by one of the organisers – Tushar Mathew, who with his play asked the audience why they smirked when they saw two boys or two girls holding hands but were okay with a boy and a girl holding hands. He offered a solution to people in whose notion homosexuality was incorrect – “change YOUR notions”. The event ended on this high note. And yes, with a lot of ‘food for thought’ for the audience. It indeed, am sure, transformed the ‘issue’ of homosexuality to being a ‘non-issue’ to be worried about.

The next event organised by the team was really loud-aloud and “Outside the closet” in the true meaning of the phrase. It was at an open-air call to all passersby’s at the sea-kissing amphitheatre on Carter Road, Bandra. It was a concert to celebrate the right to live outside the closet. The show was compeered aptly by their co-student Bhavya Pandit, who almost seems like a bandit when she sets the stage on fire as she shifts gears from being a compeer as pleasant as the moon, to suddenly turning into a damsel who croons. She sang, she spoke and the Arabian Sea danced to her voice. She was soon joined by Mohan from the super popular Band – Agnee. And Indian Idol contestant Meing Chang and his wife Monali. The highlight is that Mohan, Meing, Monali came up on stage – they pledged their support to the cause and then performed. They all said ‘thank you for inviting me for this event. We feel strongly for this cause’ and there was not a single awkward moment or a feeling that they were doing an obligation or anything close to that. It was quite evident, they were all there, not because they had the time from their super busy schedules, they were there because they really wanted to be there. The audience was a dil-se enthu-cutlet, they didn’t have to be prompted “chalo clappings ho jaaye”… They roared with a thunder of ‘taliyaan’ at the right moments. I addressed the audience and did some interactive masala (no wonder I’m christened ‘masala maami’ by some) asked them to say “that’s okay” in the same tone and tune that I said ‘I am gay’ , ‘I am lesbian’, ‘I am transgender’. And they did… and how!

I ended the drama with a note with an announcement of the Queer Pride in Bombay – “Queer Azaadi March- Mumbai” and urged the audience to donate paisas and rupaiyaahs for the pride. I told them that they should join in support of their LGBTIQ friends and family, I assured them in my usual jocular vein that heterosexuals will not be discriminated or treated badly. ‘Discrimination is such a straight thing to do. We are queer. We have large hearts. We welcome straights’ – I concluded. And thank lord. My humour was not misplaced and the audience was left with open mouthed laughter!

The donation box did its rounds in the audience and many lightened their purses and wallets as I waded through the motley-merry audience with my friend – Ashlin Mathew, who ensured that we don’t miss out any member of the audience, even the passerbys. Each and every person in the audience we went to was told that ‘we are going to have great fun at the queer pride. And we want you to be there with us.’ And they all asked for the timings and venue details – many with their ‘complete heterosexual families’ (miyaa-biwi-bachhas). Not one smirk, not one untoward homophobic reaction and that too at a public place that was open to all and sundry.
I don’t know if this will actually result in a high heterosexual turnout at the march in Mumbai scheduled on Jan 28, 2012 at August Kranti Maidaan at 3 pm, but I do know that the waves of Arabian Sea tell me that it is suddenly queer to hate.

Initiatives like these will ignite minds and start a dialogue against discrimination. Wilsonians! How sexy in attitude you are!

Looking forward to your street plays etc that are scheduled. Also, need to mention De Taali another initiative by Bhavya Pandit for transgenders at the same venue, with the same spunk and sheen, and super sexy attitude.
……………”That’s the way…. Aha aha…. We like it… Aha aha…..”
And this ones for you Wilsonians!

Jiyooh mere Laal!