By Arun Mirchandani
Review by Ratnesh
Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone. To not be alone is the only respite we seek the most. And this has been perfectly captured by the semi-autobiography of one of the emerging writers on alternative sexuality – Arun Mirchandani.
This is the story of Sanjay Sanghavi, an urban Indian homosexual counting last few minutes of his life. This is the story of a man who looks back his life spanning over 75 years and explores different facets such as heart-break, rejection, ragging, discrimination, coming out and homophobia. The book is his story of self-discovery amidst numerous downs.
Sanjay is 4 years old. His parents are anxiously waiting for his turn for the interview outside the principal’s office chanting ‘Om Namah Sivay’. Later when by hook or crook Sanjay made into it, they go for the shopping. Sanjay makes a big show for a ghagra choli. As soon he tried it on, he ran out of the changing room while Rajiv, his brother looked in amazement and his mom stood next to the changing room door holding back tears.
“You ugly piece of blubber”
“You fat f**k’n faggot”
“You good for nothing moron”
These were the words which echoed in his ears if he dared to look in to the mirror. How depressed he was, hated by all and unwanted by everyone, used to ask questions to himself which had no answers. Only he knew how wrong he was. Sanjay, luck by chance, joined a public speaking course which was a life changing experience, a total turnover.
I am fat? So what?
I am asthmatic? So what?
I have had failed relationships. So what?
I have struggled with relationships at home. So what?
I am slightly effeminate. So what?
I am gay. So what?
All that matters is what I have now. And I have confidence in me being me. I am what I am and that makes me happy.
Today Arun is 21 years old. He comes out to his best friend Dinu, who introduces him to two vices – drinking and sex. Thanks to menforboys.com, Sanjay Sanghavi meets all sorts of guys in store. Great kissers, bad kissers, terrible kissers, small sized, medium sized, large sized, foreplay lovers, foreplay haters, inexperienced, vanilla, kinky, muscled jocks, average executives, He has sex in a movie hall, in a car, at a gay party and in his parents’ bedroom.
The book is made up of little incidents that make Sanjay’s life gay. Inspite of all the setbacks, he came out stronger and exhibited optimism with each situation only with the help of the people around him. Sanjay’s story is the perfect illustration of an individual making the most of his closest relationships to create a constant illusion of not being alone. A truly inspiring must read. You are definitely not alone.
